How often do we listen with the intention to connect, to be present with the other human being in front of us? How often are we only appearing to listen while in fact thinking about my reply? Listening to connect is foundational to community living, as an intention, as a skill to practice, as a capacity to increase.
How the series works:
This series takes place over 4 weeks and is customizable to your own pace. There are 4 sections, including a video and practices on a specific aspect of Listening to Connect. You will be invited to practice these listening skills by applying them immediately with the people that you are currently living with (this supports us in building community where we are, now, without waiting for the "perfect" community). You will also be invited to find a listening buddy to practice with.
This series is based on NVC. Each section will also include increasing needs language and awareness. I also offer this course as an inperson workshop. Email me for details. This course is the suggested prerequisite for Listening to Understand.
Contribution to Selene's Financial Needs:
My preference is to move towards gift economy. For me, this is an application of needs consciousness that is at the core of this work. I'm happy to receive whatever you feel comfortable to give while also asking that you consider my financial needs. The idea is that you choose a number that balances both our needs. I have publicly shared my financial needs so that you can make a grounded decision.
My preference would be that everyone connected with themselves to find an amount that balances both our needs, and I'm aware that may take time and energy that not everyone has. If you prefer not to choose a number yourself, here is a suggested sliding scale: 20€ - 50€
Learn more about this here:
Over the past few months, Ireland went into lockdown to slow the spread of Covid 19. Most of my work (as a trainer sharing NVC) was canceled, and what wasn't canceled was moved to Zoom (like everyone else!). I gave myself permission to let go of notions of "productivity" and instead I spent time with myself.
The first month was an unwinding of the anxiety of the busy pace I'd been living since last December, though it was replaced with anxiety about the pandemic, let's be honest. I experienced a reorientiation to what is important to me, and faced some existential questions:
What am I doing with my one glorious life?
Why have I been spending my precious, limited time and energy on things that are not going to bring me the life I dream of?
In the terrifying face of global climate change and biodiversity loss and this internal ticking clock counting down the remaining time we have for collective action, spurring a sense of urgency within me, I have carried the question:
What is my work to do?
What is my contribution to new/old world we so desperately need?
What arose in me, as the weeks passed, was a clarity of purpose. The answer that consistantly came to me was community living. My dream has long been to live in community. I originally came to NVC to support my marriage, and I stayed with NVC, worked towards certification, and committed to the hard work of integrating nonviolence into my life for the rest of my life, because I thought this was the only visible step towards living in community I could grasp.
So, my next question to myself was:
If I am so clear I want to live in community, and so clear I want to bring my delivery of NVC in service to community living, why am I not doing it?
That was a much more painful question to face. Several responses within me arose, my struggle with general disempowerment, lack of hope, intense grief over the state of the world, and a deep refusal to do it "alone". Facing this pain became the next bit of work of my time in lockdown.
I have since experienced a shift. I realize that I don't need to do this alone. I can ask for support. More than that, I can create a team of people to work together.
My dream is to form a team of 4-5 people, local to Ireland, who would like to work with me to support forming and established live-in communities in building nonviolence and NVC into the foundation of their social structures and way of life.
You do not need to be experienced in the above, as we will learn and grow together. What I am looking for is:
Skills I'm looking for:
If this sounds like you, and you are interested in getting involved, I aim to hold a zoom call to answer any questions and support you in deciding to join this group or not. Email me to receive information about when this zoom call will be.
A few weeks ago I hosted a zoom call exploring the connections between Universal Human Needs and the Gift Economy. I so so enjoyed it, it felt vibrant and in alignment with what I believe my purpose to be. I will be offering this call twice a month!
Join us as we explore the connections between Universal Human Needs and the Gift Economy. How can we engage with these two concepts as a foundation for successful living in community? Can these ideas make community living more accessible? What are some practices we can immediately put into place to begin to live in consciously needs-based communities?
We will be increasing our needs-consciousness and language while looking at this specific application of it. We will be practicing self-connection, empathic listening and vulnerable expression.
Would you like to Support these Calls and Recordings?
Join us in exploring the Assumptions Underlying NVC, written by Miki and Inbal Kashtan, to begin grappling with the very different worldview that NVC asks of us. We will explore through conversation and naming practices to integrate the theory into our lived experiences.
These explorations happen weekly on zoom and are recorded to support other's learning.
If you join us for the live zoom session, we'll focus on creating connection and support each other, while also practicing self-connection, empathic listening and vulnerable expression.
Forms of Support We would enjoy Receiving
Selene Aswell is a coach, facilitator and community living consultant.